Slumber's Torture: C5: To Know What Is Wrong

Both Donatello and Michelangelo were silent.  Gazing at the orange banded turtle, Donnie took a sharp breath in.  “Mikey...what...what happened here?” He tried to steady his breath, he tried to calm his nerves.  He began to shake, but he didn’t know if that was because he was coming down from an adrenalin spike, or because he was truly afraid of what his brother had to say.

  Mikey just cocked an eyebrow.  “Like you don’t know,” He almost scoffed, but Donnie could see he was fighting back his emotions strongly.  That was so unlike Mikey.  He was always open with his feelings, always ready to give you a hug when you needed one- or when he thought you needed one.  He was always there with a smile on his face, always.  He was the brother that brought laughter and joy to the family. But here, right now, it looked like the only amusement he got was when he bashed some Foot Ninja heads.  He reminded Donnie of Raph.

  Donnie was quiet as he tried to read his brother’s body language.  He looked like he wanted to run away, like he wanted to blend in and turn invisible before Donnie’s sight, but at the same time, he appeared to long to just sit down and talk, just like old times. “I...I don’t know Mikey...I really don’t know...” Donnie’s voice wavered, threatening to crack as it had earlier.

  Mikey just shook his head.  “What game are you trying to pull Don? You should know it’s not going to work.  After all these years you finally return? A changed heart?  Oh please, we both know you better than that,” He sighed, the sarcasm he bore so thick, you could cut a knife with it.  He looked away from Donnie, turning his back to the confused teen, and began to slink away into the shadows where he belonged.

  “Mikey please!” Donnie reached out, grabbing his brother’s shoulder.  “Please!  I’m begging you!”  This wasn’t like Mikey.  He didn’t just abandon his family when they needed him.  And what did he mean by ‘finally return’ and ‘a changed heart’?

  Mikey glanced back at him.  “You sure do look different Don...” Chuckling lightly, he tried to shake off his old sense of humor.  It was something that he just couldn’t accomplish, not without throwing in one more line.  “You lose weight or something?”

  Donnie felt his mouth go dry.  What was going on?  Why was Mikey acting this way?  “No Mikey,” He choked.  “I’m fifteen Mikey.  I...I can’t say the same for you...”

  Mikey laughed out loud, staring Donnie straight in the eye.  He had grown taller since Donnie had seen him last.  It was odd to think like that, as he had seen his brother earlier that day.  In fact, he had seen him in the past hour.  But right now, it felt like it had been ages ago, as if he had been on this search for forever.  “You’re serious,” Mikey muttered, his face falling.  “What the shell is going on...”

  Donnie’s eyes widened.  “Mikey...what would Master Splinter say about your language?”  Although he often heard Raph say something like that, and Leo once, he had never heard Mikey say anything remotely similar to that.  It was another shock to his system.

  Mikey froze, his entire body going rigid.  His upper lip curled in disgust at Donnie, and he even seemed to growl slightly.  “Don’t you quote Splinter on me!  Not after what you did...”

  Donnie just blinked.  “What did I do Mikey?” This was just to much...he was trying so hard to understand what Mikey was saying, but it wasn’t registering.  What had he done?

  His face must have shown his confusion, especially the way Mikey gawked at him.  “You’re not really Don, are you?”

  Donnie threw his hands up in the air, letting his body take over what little control his mind had left.  “I don’t know what’s going on Mikey! One minute we’re all in the lair, the next I’m here, I’m in this nightmare!  This isn’t right! This isn’t real! It isn’t true!”

 Mikey just stood there, his mouth agape.  “Nightmare? Oh...shell...” Rubbing his temple with his one good hand, Mikey blew out a gust of air.  “Oh shell.  I never thought...this couldn’t be...” He began to pace in a circle, running his hand over his head, as if he was running his fingers through hair.  “I could...I could change everything...” He began muttering to himself, a slight crazed look in his eyes.  “Come on Don.  We have to go...” He paused, thinking why they needed to leave.  “Old Shred-head will be sending some more goons, and he’ll probably be sending a lot.  We need to go meet the Resistance Leader.”

  “Resistance?  Leader?  Mikey what is going on?” Donnie coughed as he inhaled to much of the toxic air.  He wasn’t accustomed to the high amounts of pollution, nor did he understand what was happening.

  Mikey just rolled his eyes, summoning his brother to follow.  “We’re going to April, okay?”  His tone was slightly short, as if it should have been obvious.

  Hope started to creep into Donnie’s heart.  “Is Leo and Raph with April?” He smiled at the thought of his older brothers.

  Mikey scoffed.  “Are you kidding me? Leo and Raph aren’t with anybody.”

  “Why?” Donnie hadn’t meant for that to slip out.  Mikey’s tone alone had told him not to broach that subject.  But it just happened.  It had just...come out.  He desperately needed answers, and right now, his mind was completely turned off.  He was going by instinct, not by common sense.  If there was even a difference between the two.

  Mikey was silent for a few seconds.  He glared at Donnie, but finally sighed, and shook his head.  “The turtle with the the big brain finally doesn’t have all the answers.  Who’da thunk it?” Sighing, he couldn’t meet Donnie’s gaze.  “Let’s just say that Leo and Raph got in a big fight a long time ago.  Things haven’t been the same since...” He let the words just hang there, still providing no explanation as to what had happened.  And that was all Donnie wanted.  An explanation.

  Something echoed over an intercom.  It sounded like...Karai?  “Serve the Shredder.  Serve the Shredder and live.  Serve the Shredder.  The Shredder is watching.  The Shredder is always watching.  Serve the Shredder.”

  Donnie narrowed his eyes, muttering to himself.  “Talk about brainwashing...”

  “If you want to live Donnie, you’re gonna have to be quiet,” Mikey hissed, stopping at a drain.  He slowly lifted it, and disappeared into the hole below.  Donnie followed, but he had a sinking feeling.

  The rest of their ‘trip’ was in absolute silence.  The once extremely talkative Mikey was much to quiet, even more ninja than Donnie.  It had been hard to get him even remotely still, but now, it seemed as if talking was foreign.  Finally, Mikey spoke.  “Here we are.”  The building they had appeared in front of was old, and had the look of desertion.  But beneath the masquerade, Donnie could almost see something under the skin of this place.  A secret that it held, the secret of the only hope for the world.  “Come on,” Mikey gestured, and Donnie followed.

  They walked down several long corridors before coming to a center room.  People, real people, were actually here, running around.  Some were shouting orders, other carrying them out.  None were, and this surprised Donnie, shocked to see two mutant turtles walking around.  Mikey merely pushed his way through everybody, Donnie glued to his side, his eyes wide as he tried to take everything in.

  “Take these to Dr. Rockwell A.S.A.P.!  He needs to run the decoding encryption program!“ That voice...it sounded so familiar...yet the authoritarian tone that circumferenced it was hard, and incorrigible.

  “Hey, Resistance Leader!” The jovial Michelangelo had returned briefly, a grin on his face.  The woman turned, looking at Mikey and Donnie, but Donnie felt his heart fall.  “Look who I found!”

  April blinked.  Her once red hair was greying, her green eyes had darkened.  “Don?  Is that really you?” Disbelief seemed to course through her, and all Donnie could do was nod.

  “Sort of,” Mikey sighed, gazing deep in April’s eyes.  “He’s uh...well...April...he’s from the Nightmare. As in The Nightmare,” The way Mikey said the last two words was deep, and catastrophic.  It seemed to mean the world to him though, and to April too.  Her eyes were bugging out of her head.

  “Is it true?  Could it be?”  A new wishfulness seemed to fill her, and Donnie saw her slumped shoulders rise slightly.  Whatever they were talking about, some kind of ‘nightmare’, it had something to do with him.  He was sure of this.  But what did it mean?  What was the ‘nightmare’?

  Mikey ignored his peculiar look.  “Don’t get your hopes up April.  We both know how everything already turned out.  There’s not much we can do,” Mikey seemed to scan the floor, appearing dejected, and downhearted.

  April clenched her jaw.  “Mike, we can’t give up.  It could be our one chance to right everything.  To fix the wrong.”

  “Uh...” Once again Donnie said something without even meaning to.  It was as if his body started having a mind of its own.  Both Mikey and April turned to him, Mikey cocking an eyebrow.  “...Hi?”  It was the only thing he could think of on short notice.  It was an utter fail, he knew, but he couldn’t help it.

  April beamed, reaching out for Donnie.  She embraced him, unlike Mikey, and held him tight.  “I always knew this day would come...Master Splinter said so...”  She squeezed him tight, and Donnie was speechless.  He felt his skin start getting wet, and he realized it was April crying.  She pulled away, wiping the water from her face.  “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to...this has to be so weird for you...”

  Donnie nodded, again.  “You...you mentioned Master Splinter...”  Aril froze, and she no longer was looking at Donnie.  She was looking at Michelangelo.  She was looking for an answer.  “...where is he?”  Donnie asked, although he already knew.  The worst had happened.  His Sensei...he couldn’t bring himself to think it...

  “A lot has happened in thirty years Donnie.  Most of it not so good.  Shell, probably all of it is ‘not so good’, just some ‘bad not so good’ and the rest ‘worse not so good’. If that makes any sense,”  Mikey leaned up against April’s war table.  It had little figures all over it, mapping out New York.  It was a battlefield if Donnie ever saw one.  A horrible, cruel battlefield where many had died, and many more still would.  It was where one went for a last stand, to face their death.  To end their life and go on to another world, if one believed in such things.  To make peace.

  Donnie was dumbfounded.  The area around him became muffled, and he once again felt himself losing control.  He found himself making wishes, desiring for anything different.  At first he didn’t even hear himself screaming and crying out, and when he did, he didn’t want to stop.  He started practically demanding, although he was begging and pleading for his father at the same time. “I want Master Splinter!” Thoughts began to cross his mind of his older brothers, Leo’s caring arms around him in the rough times, and Raph’s encouraging words when times were tough.  They were always there for him in the rough and tough times. Always. “I want Leo! I want Raph!”  He was blinded in need, not seeing the situation as it was.  All he knew was one second everything was uncontrolled, unrestrained, wild even, and the next, he was being held by Mikey.  His little brother was clamping down on his arms, but there was love in his actions.  He shaking him, doing his best to get the rest of Donnie’s emotions out of him.

  “Don!  Don!” Mikey cried out, but Donnie toned him out.  He wasn’t Don; he was Donnie.  He wanted to be called by his childhood nickname, he wanted his family to call out to him.  “Donnie!”  That’s all it took.  His name.  His brother calling his name.  He collapsed, falling, only supported by his brother’s arms.  “Pull yourself together man!  You have too!”

  “Please...” April touched Donnie, and he stared into her eyes.  

  “I want Leo...” He murmured. “I want Raph...”  He watched Mikey glance at April, but she shook her head no.

  “April’s guys will find them, okay Donnie?” Mikey patted his brother’s shell.

  “Mike!” April barked, but as she looked back at Donnie, she sighed.  “We’ll our best, okay Don...nie?”  She made sure to add the end piece.  He could see the sadness in her, she didn’t want him to be like that.  She didn’t want him to suffer.  They all had suffered to much already, she didn’t want to make him too.  Not him.

  Donnie had always thought of Mikey as the innocent, insecure, little brother.  It was now that he knew how wrong he was.  Their roles had been reversed- it was now he was the little brother.  He was the one who was insecure, extremely insecure.  He was the only one who had not been put through this hovel, he was the innocent one.  To many years here had made Mikey all he wasn’t.

  Mikey slowly sat Donnie down as April shouted out orders to find Leonardo and Raphael.  They would have to wait, Mikey tried to explain to Donnie, but Donnie didn’t want to wait.  He wanted his big brothers.  He wanted them now.

  Mikey did his best to keep him calm.  Donnie wanted to fight against his brother’s attempts to steady him, and although he did give him many problems at first, it wasn’t long before he gave up.  He just sat, motionless, watching as the partisans worked.  It was then that he surrendered.  He surrendered to Mikey, he surrendered to this world, he surrendered to himself.  He couldn’t be naive anymore.  This was his home, with his brothers.  And with April. He had to pull the best out of him, he had to save what was left of his family.

  Slowly, he stood up, making his way to the table.  He studied everything about it, from the positions, to the flanks, to the numbers.  He read about Shredder’s fortress, about the robot legions, about the weapons.  And slowly, a planned formed in his mind.  It wouldn’t take an army, it wouldn’t take superior fire power.  What it would take was a better strategy, a fresh perspective.

  “Leonardo has been spotted!” A cry rang out, jolting Donnie.  What was he going to say to his brother?  How would Leo react?

  “Raphael is approaching the vicinity!” A collected stiffness filled the air, as if all in the room knew that something was about to erupt.

  Donatello got up from his spot at the table, making his way to where he had been signaled.  Briefly, Mikey touched him.  “Keep this in mind Donnie: A lot has changed.  A lot.  You see me now, you see how different I’ve become.  But it’s what I am, and there’s no changing that.  Just like there’s no changing Raph n’ Leo.  They’re rogue Donnie, they’re out for nobody but themselves.  So unless you’ve got a pretty good darn sales pitch, I’m warning you, don’t put your faith in those two.  They’re not the Leo and Raph you remember,” Donnie nodded, and although he wanted to blow his brother off, he kept his words close.

  Donnie walked down the hallway.  He noted the poor conditions, the broken windows, the glass on the floor.  So much had corroded away, the building was fallen apart.

  He heard a thump, as if someone had jumped in.  It was automatic for him to slink into the shadows, to watch who it was.  That was when he saw Leonardo.  At first he didn’t recognize him- his signature blue bandana was gone, replaced by black sunglasses.  He also now was sporting a dingy trench coat that oddly enough, matched the glasses.  His head and hands were scarred, and he only bore one katana.  He seemed to stop, as if sensing his surroundings.  He knew somebody was here, and stiffened.

  Raphael fell through the fractured roof, landing perfectly.  His look startled Donnie.  He too carried scars, and the hole where his left eye should have been peeping out of his mask had been sewn shut.  He was always wearing clothes now, displaying a brown leather jacket. He easily seemed like a rugged ‘biker dude’.

  “What the shell are you doing here?” Leo growled.

  “Leo?” Raph scoffed.  Donnie was starting to realize that this was perhaps not one of his better ideas.  “April’s guys didn’t say anything about you being here!”

  “Oh, what’s the matter Raph?  I remind you how you abandoned Master Splinter when he needed you the most?!”

  “Alright Leo!” Raph fingered his sais dangerously.  “I’m through talking!  Let’s finish this once and for all!”  Just before Raph lunged, Donnie hit him with his bo staff,  and he hit him hard.  He swung around, jabbing Leo too, as his older brother was drawing out his blade.

  They both froze.  Raph gave Donnie a hard look, his single eye widening. “D...Don?”  He seemed shaken up, and weakly reached out to Donnie.  Pulling him close, he hugged him tight.  It was what Mikey should have done earlier.

  “Don?” Leo spoke.  His face remained unmoving, completely still and stationary.  Donnie barely saw behind the shades that his brother’s eyes did not move.  He was blind.  Leo...was blind...

  “It’s me..”  Donnie choked out.  He wasn’t going to let this family reunion go untouched.  “Come on Mikey,” He signaled for the orange clad turtle.  He knew he had followed him the entire time, watching silently.

  Mikey stepped out into the dim light.  “Leo, Raph,” He nodded in acknowledgment to both of his brothers.  “This is...Donnie. From The Nightmare.”

  Time seemed to stop.  Both were quiet, contemplating on their next moves.

  “Guys, I know this is crazy, but I have plan,” Donnie grinned.  “A plan to take down the Shredder,” It was foolproof, he was sure of it.  He had perfected it.  He was going to save this world.

  They all grimaced.  All three of them.  “I’m sorry Don...” Raph turned his head.  “It can’t be done.”

  “We’ve tried to many times,” Leo added.  Mikey seemed surprised at this, as if Leo and Raph never agreed on anything.  And in truth, they probably hadn’t.

  “Trust me guys!” Donnie gazed at each one of his brothers.  They all seemed to just drift away from him, none responding.  “I can fix everything!” It was something they no doubt heard before, but he was sure of it.  He could fix everything.

  Mikey licked his lips.  Raph gripped his sai.  Leo shifted his stance.  Donnie blinked, waiting.  He was tired of waiting though.  He had been waiting, waiting for all of them.  He was not going to let this slip away this easily.  “Why not we mediate on it?”

  It was the only thing they accepted from him.  So as Mikey led them to a private room, Donnie tried to think of a tactical way to get them to agree.  It had to be just long enough to take down the Shredder- if they took him down together, they would be a family again.  It was a sound stratagem.

  Together, they sat down in circle, though the other three were reluctant.  They weren’t used to this anymore.  They had become unaccustomed to what they had once done everyday.

  It didn’t take long for Donnie to drift off, his mind clearing.  He relaxed, and he was thankful for that.

_{o-o-o-o-Slumber's Torture-o-o-o-Slumber's Torture-o-o-o-Slumber's Torture-o-o-o-Slumber's Torture-o-o-o-o}

  “Donnie?  Donnie?”  Donatello opened his eyes to Mikey poking him.  “You were kind of out of it dude.”

  Donnie blinked.  What had just happened?  “I..I think I was Mikey...”  His heart hammered in his chest, and he thought for a second it was going to explode.

  “Are you alright my son?”  Splinter stood beside him, his unwavering eyes boring a hole inside Donnie.

  Donnie breathed, shaking his head.  “I don’t think so Sensei...I don’t think so...”

  Mikey’s bottom lip began to quiver.  “But you said-”

  “I know what I said!” Donnie snapped, but pulled himself back together.  “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean too...I just...”  Looking up at Leo and Raph’s shocked faces, Donnie started to feel queasy.  “I...I have to go to my lab...I have to know what is wrong...”